Tuesday, August 12, 2014  12:00 PM
Just How Ugly Can One Office Chair Get?

When MyOfficeProducts Key Account Manager Sherry Wells was approached by Deidra Piatt about an Ugly Office Chair Contest at Lipscomb University in Nashville, Tennessee, she never suspected how ugly an office chair could get – that was until she read contest winner Jon Scott Smith’s submission and at that point, it was no contest. (Left to right: John Helm of HiTouch, Sherry Wells of MyOfficeProducts, and Deidra Piatt and Jon Scott Smith of Lipscomb University.)

 The War of the Chair — Jon Scott Smith’s submission

In the short time I’ve thus spent at Lipscomb University I’ve met many characters. Lipscomb is filled with the most jovial and genial type of folk and it has been a great joy to meet all of them…except one. There is one character, the one I’ve come to know most intimately, who has been my bane. We are at war, he and I, and though few can tell, our epic battles rage daily in our small, unassuming office beneath the Beaman Library.

This character is, of course, my desk chair.

His oddities begin with his schizophrenia. He can’t decide whether or not he’s a young punk or an old grump. One minute he’ll attempt, yet again, to illegibly carve his name on my desk with his left arm, all jagged with its foam torn off, his own permanent stiletto; the next moment, as I attempt to quell his vandalism by pulling him away, he yelps in pain as his arthritic wheels screech away from the desk. Like many troubled youths, his slouch is chronic and, therefore, so is mine. He refuses to sit up straight. The crank half of him has the worst of greeting etiquette. Each time I return to my office I’m graced with a jeer about my weight for, upon sitting, his plastic bones pop loudly and he releases a most exaggerated groan just to rub it in. To bring me down even further, he refuses to raise himself more than a foot and a half from the ground. “Closer to the Earth and you’re closer to the dirt!” I imagine he’d say with a sneer. I pray daily in thanks he can’t speak beyond his cracks and creaks. Some days I attempt to set his arms up or down to rest my elbows, but neither the punk on the left or the crank on the right will have any of that. They keep themselves firmly in place as if welded. I fear they are winning, these two malcontents in one. Some days I’m tempted to turn my hair black, get some tattoos, come to work, and go mosh--pit on that chair. I’d carve my name in his fabric and throw him down some stairs. Other days I just feel tired, my neck locked in place, tendons tense as guitar strings. My back turns.

Smith’s chair had clearly developed multiple, not-so-attractive attributes over the years, which made the presentation of a new Allsteel Acuity Chair all the more comforting. Partnering with Allsteel, a leading supplier of ergonomic task chairs in the workplace, MyOfficeProducts has developed a new campus wide seating standards program for Lipscomb University that should have every other ugly office chair on campus quaking on its casters.

To read more about the importance of great office seating, here’s a fun and relevant LINK!

For more on the fabulous line up of Allsteel Office Seating http://www.allsteeloffice.com/products/seating/

Congratulations Jon Scott Smith on your new Allsteel Acuity Chair!

MyOfficeProducts is a division of HiTouch Business Services on the web at www.hitouchservices.com

For help with your next office furniture project, contact Sherry Wells at sherry.wells@myofficeproducts.com


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